C-3PO? Scrap Iron? Our slash sense is tingling something fierce...

It is amazing how much crisper the general experience of life becomes when your body is given a chance to develop a little strength.

– Frank Duff

It is also amazing how fantastically aggravating getting kicked out of your regular workout schedule can be. Not only does it impede your progress (you can’t gear up or earn XP when your internet connection is down), it can really mess up your whole daily routine. We try hard to get our regular workouts in, and when it’s pushed aside – for whatever reason – that can cascade and cause other things to get knocked out of whack.

Like, you know, writing blog posts. *cough*

This is an extremely indirect way of approaching the subject of, “We know it’s been a little too quiet around here lately. Sorry about that.” The underlying reasons are both good (Mike and Krys have been really involved with a local theater company production) – and not so good (I’ve been dealing with an injury that landed me at the chiropractor’s office for unscheduled maintenance). So, in any case, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa (whatever the plural of that is).

However, it does put Mr. Duff’s words into perspective. It looks like there’s some science to back him up on the subject of, “Not being able to get my exercise fix is making me cranky.”

You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.

- Henry Ford

I will note with some wry bemusement that I had originally  started writing this before Mike put together his Good Cop/Bad Cop piece.  This is not going to be one of those sweetness and light, rah-rah-go-team columns. Instead, we are subjected to the unrelenting gaze of a boss fight that’s nothing more than a DPS check. There is no subtlety, it is merely Yoda giving you the hairy eyeball. We may not be Jedi Masters around here, but we’re also more than two feet tall, and don’t have Zombie Jim Henson’s hand up our butts.

In a nutshell, making excuses doesn’t burn any calories. Well, that’s not strictly true – it just doesn’t burn a heck of a lot more calories than you would just hanging around, not doing anything. For a 30 year old, 125 lb woman, standing around and talking burns approximately 45 calories per hour; a 35 year old, 200 pound guy would burn 66. If our imaginary friends were mopping instead of moping, she’d burn about 210 calories, and he would work off 350 during that same sixty minutes… and they’d have clean floors, too.

How do you like them apples? (They're lemons, Sire.) (Image courtesy of Wikimedia)

When life hands you lemons, say, “Oh yeah? I like lemons. What else ya got?”

- Henry Rollins

My brains, his strength, and your steel against sixty men, and a little finger wiggle is supposed to make me happy?

- The Dread Pirate Roberts Wesley

The world is an imperfect place. Sometimes the weather is bad. Sometimes you spill your tea. The loot roll fails to align with your needs, or the random encounter table gives you yet another pack of Kobolds. Whatever it is, you still have to deal with it. I’m no Pollyanna, but I do know a thing or three about making something less crappy (note: not to be confused with a Bag o’ Crap)  of a sub-optimal situation. I’m sure that plenty of you folks have found yourselves in similar situations when it comes to meal time, or at the gym, or whenever life fails to be conveniently awesome.

“I’ve got a dagger that’s +9 against Ogres!”

“Yeah, but you’re not there!”

Now, let’s go attack the darkness. Magic Missile not included.

The value of achievement lies in the achieving. – Albert Einstein

I’m not typically one of those “getting there is half the fun” types. I want to get to wherever and commence the fun-making with a quickness. Admittedly, this is colored by several years spent living a solid two hours’ drive from most of what qualified as fun, and a propensity for long-distance relationships. Getting there was a pain in the butt, a trial to be endured, another tedious grind; even during the height of the fall color in New England, it was merely a prettier iteration of the reviled FedEx-type Quest.

Fitness is the exception. There are the milestones along the way. There may be cathartic or chemically-interesting sessions. There are the little things you notice along the way that reaffirm that you’re doing the right thing. You’ll begin feeling better. Fitter.

And each man stands with his face in the light of his own drawn sword. Ready to do what a hero can.
– Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Ethan has committed one of the classic motivational non-blunders. Well, I can’t say that with complete authority, since his brother may, in fact, be Sicilian, and death could potentially be on the line.  But, no matter! First, we dri– wait, sorry, got carried away there for a second.

A goal is a dream with a deadline.
– Unknown

Hopefully, we’re collectively smart enough not to let our mouths write checks that our bodies can’t cash. In the chance we’re not, getting to that point becomes awfully motivational.