Pitying Fools: Does it burn calories?
One of the (numerous) ways Mike and I differ is in our appreciation of April Fool’s Day. He’s on record as saying it’s one of his favorite holidays. I, on the other hand, want to smack people for anything more mischievous than Rickrolling me (that actually is a link to the video for “Never Gonna Give You Up.” What can I say? I think it’s catchy).
However, the beginning of April (or the end of Spring Break) does mean that it’s time for a fresh crop of fitness foolishness in the population at large. Much like New Years brings the resolutionists into the gym in flocks, so, too does the realization that summer is less than three months away. While we’re not all exercising to “show off that beach body” or whatever it is that Men’s Health and Shape are touting, it’s probably safe to say that we’re going to be getting outside a bit more as the weather gets nicer… maybe go to a couple cookouts, a picnic, that kind of thing.
Most exercise routines work off of the concept of periodization – that’s just a fancy word for “anything will work… for a while.” Your body will adapt to any workout you keep throwing at it, and the law of diminishing returns will kick in. For most folks, that period of adaptation is about eight to twelve weeks, at which point you should shake things up. If you always do the same three sets of exercises with hand weights, and then half an hour on the treadmill, you might try some new moves, and jump on the elliptical trainer or stationary bike instead. Or, better yet, take a few weeks where you do just weights or just cardio, and then switch off.
Some of the current hot exercise routines – stuff like P90X or the Insanity Workout – have fancy, marketing-friendly words for the notion of “do different stuff” – terms like “confusion training.” It’s not a bad phrase, really, since what you want to do is keep your body from getting too comfortable with, and therefore too efficient at, your workout routine. Remember: your body is built to store calories to survive before pretty much everything else. If there’s a way for it to do what you want it to do and burn fewer calories, your body will adapt to do so. Thus, whether your goal is weight loss through fat reduction, or strength gains through muscle development, you need to keep challenging the status quo to get where you want to be.
And it would be kind of nice to have people raise a Spock-like eyebrow, trying to square their last impression of us, as we hunkered down into our winter hoodies, with a somewhat more athletic version of ourselves. Pwning that smack-talking loudmouth from Accounts Receivable at kickball is just gravy.
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