Gotta keep ‘em caffeinated

Jan 042010

Mugging: You're doing it right, Scott.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Naturally, once we’ve started down the road to blaspheming Dune, the corollary to this becomes all but self-evident:

Beer is the mind-killer.

It looks like the coffee folks have a few more arrows in their quiver when it comes to feeling good about their beverage of choice. New research suggests that not only does the mean bean help stave off Alzheimer’s Disease, it may also help prevent Type-2 Diabetes. Yes, even my preferred abomination in Mike’s eyes – decaf. This also appears to be true for certain types of tea as well, so it’s not just coffee drinkers who are reaping the benefits – our own resident tea fiend, Scott, is also in luck.

However, if you’re anything like us, you probably don’t reach for your hot beverage of choice with late-life health concerns at the forefront of your thought processes, especially first thing in the morning. For most folks, it’s for a temporary pick-me-up or to assuage a genuine caffeine addiction, since it’s the most popular drug in the world (and, since we, as a species, are at the most populous we’ve ever been, Kanye is right – it’s the most popular drug OF ALL TIME).

Speaking of those stimulant properties, those are something of a double-edged sword when it comes to exercise. On the one hand, the low-grade adrenaline-like rush from caffeine can help improve your workout performance a little bit, and afterward, help get your muscles’ energy stores replenished. On the other, it may contribute to getting a splitting headache so don’t go too crazy with it – especially in warm weather. You’ll want make sure you’re getting plenty of non-caffeinated fluids, too.

Those of you who recall seeing the Mythbusters take on the breathalyzer test will probably not be the least bit surprised by the research-supported revelation that caffeine won’t sober you up. I doubt this was the self-inflicted nail in the coffin for Budweiser’s short-lived B^E beverage; in all likelihood, its demise is much more likely due to the fact that I’m the only person in North America who liked how it tasted.

Or, to put it a scosh too succinctly: Coffee good, Napster Beer Bad.

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