It sounds uncomfortable, or possibly dangerous, in that “don’t cross the streams” kind of way, or at the very least contrary to the laws of physics — where are we going to get all that extra mass to bulk up an electron?  Vee are going to QUARK JOO AHP.

In the immortal word of The Great One, “… No.”

However, there is one form of simple alchemy that we can perform — taking our pent-up frustrations from elsewhere and putting them into a pretty good workout. Spent a fruitless hour and a half fighting with a stubborn Microsoft Excel spreadsheet? Get chewed out (or wiped repeatedly) by the boss? Can’t get past that cocky $(*&%^ with the sniper rifle to cap the flag?  Need to reinstall Win98 again?

I can hear your blood pressure going up from here, my friends. Let’s do something about it.

Pick up any stress management book, or even peruse a short list of suggestions online, and one of the things that is recommended over and over to help reduce stress levels is becoming more active in general, and exercising in particular. Sleep is an obvious way to deal with stress. Getting over being worked up by working out?

I’ll take, “What is counter-intuitive?” for $600, Alex.

So what, exactly, is the big deal here?   Does it rub our subconscious’ belly? Is it a chemical change of some sort? Is it just a conscious thing? The answer is probably a little bit of all of these.

There’s the sense of achievement, of having done something good. Yes, it’s sneaky and underhanded, but that’s why they call it the subconscious. And, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’d rather spend an hour doing something active to get that feeling than taking care of household chores, no matter what the stuff in the sink is throwing at my cats.

Those of you who’ve maybe done some jogging have probably heard of the notion of “runner’s high” — a feeling of euphoria brought on by endorphins released to cope with the abuse of running for very long distances. Whether it actually exists is still a matter of some speculation, but it’s not too great a stretch to think that those endorphins will come out to play if you do enough to warrant them, whether it’s running, or cycling, or lifting, or playing a sport. As someone who used to run long distances for no readily apparent reason, I can’t say I ever managed to attain this. My dad, when he was running marathons (in his late forties and early fifties) said that he did every so often. The closest thing to this I can personally say I’ve experienced recently was when attempting a new personal record in a heavy lift — when the weight got up, my entire body seemed to “sparkle” (first person to make an Edward comment gets a stake to the face), like a combination head-rush and lightly being asleep. I can’t say I’d equate it with orgasm, or drugs, but it was certainly a very interesting experience.

Okay, for folks not as interested in pushing themselves until the body secretes something like morphine, there are the benefits of catharsis, or just burning off enough energy that you’re not angry anymore. Walking an imaginary nemesis into the ground, or taping a mug-shot of someone who pissed you off to a heavy punching bag, or just focusing so intensely on what you’re doing are great ways to get just that little extra bit of motivation.

Or, you know, get thoroughly torqued at an ex; as one friend put things:

I take my pain to the gym. I beat the hell out of things and I feel better, throw around some iron, run to exhaustion. I channel my anger into a focus of, “I will become more awesome, I will be so bleeping impressive that you’ll cry yourself to sleep over what you chose not to have.” I will spit awesome at you in six languages and at its own body weight.

That sounds like a healthy attitude for turning negativity into something positive to me.

Related posts:

1. One Flu over the cuckoo’s nest
2. Stress sucks
3. Sticking Points