Op-Ed: Death of a Thousand Cuts

You ever see that scene in "Scanners" where that guy's head explodes? - Garth, "Wayne's World"

I’ve been known to say in years past, and probably far more recently than that as well, that I’d totally go for an internet-enabled skull jack, or wherever it is such a device would end up installed (well, if a proctologist was needed for the procedure, that would give me pause). Having ready access to all the fantastic array of online information available, the ability to keep in touch in a moment — what’s not to like?

Then I look at what I’ve got already — there are seventeen tabs in the browser window where this post is being composed alone, and it’s far from the only window, much less internet browser, I’ve got open, pretty much all the time.  Chat clients? Check. Email? Check. World of Warcraft or Supreme Commander: Forged Alliance? Well, those aren’t up at the office, where instead there are usually about a dozen applications chilling in my task bar, representing various levels of urgency or necessity.

Check, and mate.

In other words, I’m probably just like most of you.

Scott mentioned the CNN article on internet fatigue in one of his posts on Friday; I’d been pointed to it by a friend (on, ironically enough, Facebook) earlier in the week. I had every intention of reading that piece, but it just sat there in an unopened tab when the day job ate my face. I had something like twenty tabs, mostly stuff I’d been meaning to get around to reading, in my main browser window at home when I closed it inadvertently. Thus, leaving a much-less populous Mozilla window up, which then became the one that “open previous pages” returned to. All those tabs, staring at you, like a mute accusation.  “You don’t care enough to see what we have to offer. You can’t just read us and let us be closed with our dignity intact.”

I told you it was stressing me out. Anthropomorphizing browser tabs? This cannot be the thought process of a sane mind.

I suppose I’ll find most of that stuff again (after all, it was primarily fiction from a single site I frequent), but it’s weirdly liberating not to feel oppressed by that passive, self-imposed electronic burden. Not exactly as if millions of voices cried out and were silenced, but, you know, the home version.

Earlier this week, John Scalzi had a similar critique inspired by an item that bemoaned the entirely-too-accessible nature of smartphones, and how they turn some people into rude, impatient asshats. I take a perverse pride in the fact that I still use a six-year-old Nokia 3595 candy-bar that does exactly two things – voice and text. But even someone lusting after an iPhone 3GS can probably spot the problems with this statement:

“The social norm is that you should respond within a couple of hours, if not immediately. If you don’t, it is assumed you are out to lunch mentally, out of it socially, or don’t like the person who sent the e-mail.”

- Professor David E. Meyer, of the University of Michigan‘s psychology department

I think I shall defer to some of Mr. Scalzi’s thoughts on this particular statement, since, well, I think he sounds like the guy in the back of my head who tells me when someone on the internet is wrong.

If you are the sort of person who believes that all your e-mails/texts must be responded to instantaneously or sooner, you may be a self-absorbed twit…. Can we all agree that we don’t want to live in a world where we are obliged to respond to e-mails/text in an unrealistically short period of time, lest we be thought an enormous douchenozzle?

Basically, if we all agree that we can act like people who don’t have to be ZOMG the centaar of Teh Univarse!!!one!! for every other person and thing, things will be a lot more pleasant overall.

If you ever meet a stranger in cyberspace with whom your thoughts resonate so completely as mine do with Scalzi’s, cherish that moment.

But, back to the topic at hand (or, rather, on-screen) — the relentless press of moar stuff upon us, both by choice and by necessity. You don’t need to get a CRT tan to realize that too much screen time is not a great idea, physically or psychologically. Friends have had their doctors tell them, “Get away from the computer occasionally” at check-ups, and my own eye doctor had similar advice when I went in to replace the ol’ ocular implants. There are no shortage of ZOMG-style reports on the addictiveness of the internet at large, or this or that portion of it — MySpace, Facebook, WoW, The Sims… This isn’t new, folks. Tetris turned 25 this year, and how many of us turned out to be bricklayers for a living? — but, as with anything pleasurable and rewarding, the potential for over-indulgence, combined with the law of diminishing returns, and compounded by the implied social demands… let’s see, carry the seven, minus the fish….

Well, it’s not great to be That Guy. You know, the one who wakes up and has Twitter on their Crackberry before they’ve even gotten out of bed to see what everyone’s been up to while they were asleep; or updating their profile status every nine minutes, or, well, having a couple dozen browser windows and tabs open 24/7. We’re all guilty of this, at varying times and to varying degrees.

We don’t need to drink from the fire hose all the time. Take a couple minutes, hours, or days to unplug and step back from the electronic noise, whether it’s with some Yoga or breathing exercises, a walk in the park, or a gym session, or, you know, anything else organic and unplugged.

Barring a sudden nuclear or zombie apocalypse, it’ll all still be here when you get back.

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

Related posts:

1. Don’t Photoshop me, bro!
2. Santanic influences